


Unraveling

by miss_aligned



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Mass Effect 3, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:53:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aligned/pseuds/miss_aligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missions late in the war are becoming more challenging and more taxing as time goes on. Shepard attempts to cope, but needs a little support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unraveling

Shepard’s pulse thundered in her ears as she tried desperately to simultaneously skirt around certain annihilation and hold steady aim. She’d fought reapers before, of course, but the familiarity of the situation never seemed to help her comfort level much.

A red beam flared all around her. Shepard lunged to her left, rolling out of the way of the blast. The longer this went on, the harder it would become to get to her feet and steady her aim. The thought that she was going to be too slow to move out of the way was looming heavily in the back of her mind.

_Keep moving._

Shepard bit back a curse as the red beam found her again just before she’d fully locked on target. She dove to the right this time, though the blast at her heels propelled her further than she’d anticipated. She landed, sprawling, rolling, and tumbling to a stop on her back.

She heard her name and instinct caused her to lift her head in response. Everything hurt. She could still move, but…

_Keep breathing. Keep moving. If you stop, we’ll all die._

Scrambling to her feet, Shepard cast a wary glance to her comrades. Tali and Kaidan were tucked behind some nearby boulders, essentially unable to help her deal with the threat. She held up a hand, signaling them to stay put. She knew they were a moment away from leaping out and feebly trying to distract the enemy. It would have been a death sentence.

_No, if this fails, someone needs to return to the Normandy and inform the galaxy that I…_

_Keep moving._

The reaper approached ever-closer, blocking out light and searching for her. The strange synthetic bloodlust she could feel permeating the air made her skin crawl. Still, Shepard rolled her shoulders and tried to calm her nerves long enough to aim. Each second felt like an eternity. She was beginning to think that the device had malfunctioned. How could it take so long to find a target and call a strike?

“Kaidan, Tali. Hold your positions.” She saw them out of the corner of her eye. They were ready to leap. She was glad she couldn’t actually see the expression on Kaidan’s face. There was no way she’d keep it together if she did.

The reaper rocked and flailed for a moment in the force of the blasts, but it was still upright. Still moving forward. It seemed almost close enough to reach out and grab her. Shepard exhaled and took aim, cursing how resilient the monsters were.

____________

“Shepard?” The voice was quiet, familiar, and concerned. She was suddenly so thankful to be able to hear it again. It had called her out of her all-consuming visions of the mission she’d just barely escaped. Her head was lowered over the datapad she’d been working on, held in place by hands anxiously tangled in her own hair. Only then did she realize, she probably appeared a little stressed.

The commander smoothed her hair out once more, trying to look slightly less like a basketcase before her gaze turned to a rather alarmed Spectre Alenko. She offered him a small smile, which did seem to help ease the tension in his features, but he settled into a chair beside her anyway.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Just trying to finish up this report,” she said, clearing her throat to correct the inadvertent shakiness.

“I can help you with that, if you’d like. I was… I was watching the entire thing, after all. Or maybe it can wait until a little later?” His amber eyes roved over her, likely noting each small indication of her unease.

Shepard sat back in her chair, taking hold of the mug next to her with both hands. She’d settled here at the table rather than her quarters to write up the report because she felt like she needed a hot, comforting drink. “I just have to gather my thoughts. You know how this goes. It’s my job to write it all out while it’s still—.” She gulped down the rest of her lukewarm tea and set the cup aside. She wondered for a moment exactly how long had she been lost in her thoughts. “While it’s all still fresh in my mind.”

He sighed, and she guessed it was his frustration over how stubborn she typically was. Regardless, he rose to stand, planting a quick kiss on her temple and reaching for her now empty mug. She couldn’t help give in to the smile that tugged impulsively at the corners of her mouth.

Oddly enough, watching Kaidan walk away from her and to the galley helped pull her mind away from the very fresh memories of reapers. He chuckled when he turned and caught a glimpse of her appreciative stare.

Shepard began typing again, dutifully documenting each horrifying detail of her experience on Rannoch. It had been a victory, overall, but the costs had been high. She reviewed the information, lives lost, damage caused, and future implications. The longer this war went on, the less she thought her sanity would hold.

A mug, now steaming hot, appeared beside her as Kaidan settled in once more, draping an arm around the back of her chair. He remained silent, seemingly there for support if she needed it but not wanting to interrupt her train of thought.

“I wonder sometimes,” Shepard quietly began, still focusing on her report as she spoke. “How the victories can feel so taxing and the losses so completely devastating. Having hope is exhausting.”

Kaidan said nothing. He simply leaned forward, moving his arm from behind her back to the datapad in front of her, sliding it away from her line of sight. When she glanced up at him questioningly, he was plainly studying her face. He took hold of her hand and interlocked his fingers with hers and he bored into her with a clear, steady gaze.

“You’re not in this alone. Please don’t ever forget that.” His expression softened and a tiny smirk curled his lips. “And if you ever need somewhere to lean, I’ve got this nicely toned shoulder right here–. Ow.”

Shepard had already taken the opportunity to playfully punch him precisely where he’d indicated, and the smile that bloomed across her features accurately expressed her gratitude for his words, his presence, and… that nicely toned… everything.

She gave a heavy sigh, settling back in her chair and content to leave the datapad out of reach for a while longer. Wrapping her hands around the cup and lifting it, she let the steam curl around her face for just a moment before taking a sip. “Thank you.”

Kaidan nodded his head and grinned.

Shepard set the cup down, pulling his hand into both of her own now very warm ones. “We’re in this together, huh?”

“Mhmm,” he rather casually answered.

“Until the end.” Her heart somehow fluttered and sank at the same time. If only she could predict what sort of end that would be.


End file.
